This will easily be the most mellow post in this whole series.
Fear’s Equal/Opposite: Peace
Fear tells us to speed up.
Peace tells us to slow down.
Fear keeps us on edge.
Peace helps us relax.
Fear gives the impression of scarcity.
Peace deals in contentment and gratitude.
Fear projects us into the future—
what might happen.
Peace calls us into the moment—
what is happening now.
We referenced Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh in our discussion of anger, and I like what he says about fear and peace as well: “Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.”
Peace is an invitation into the present moment. Peace is all about awareness.
Where am I? What is happening around me? What is happening within me?
Getting to Know Your Fear and Peace
Take a breath.
No, not a quick shallow in-and-out. I mean a deep breath.
Inhale for a count of four.
Hold it for a count of four.
Exhale for a count of four.
Wait for a count of four.
Repeat.
Pay attention to the rise and fall of your chest and shoulders. Notice your hands and feet. Where do you feel tension? What messages is your body sending you right now?
If fear is all about disconnection —the terror of the unknown, the anxiousness about what might happen, etc.—, the key to peace lies in the present moment. I realize cultivating this kind of peace is much easier said than done. In fact, of all the feelings we’ve discussed, I’d argue peace may be the least likely to just “happen.” We live in a very anxious culture with a lot of pressure on us all the time. Peace requires pushing back. We have to create the right space and conditions for it; peace can take a lot of consistent and intentional work.
And it’s worth it.
On a Personal Note
There’s a phrase we use constantly in chaplaincy: “non-anxious presence.” Chaplains enter tense situations constantly. We’re often working with anxious staffs caring for anxious families of anxious patients, and we all carry our own anxieties too. “Non-anxious” doesn’t mean we ourselves have no anxiety; it means we’re actively working to meet the anxiety with peace. My most comforting words are seldom prayers or bible verses; more often, the most comforting words I can offer are “You don’t have to make this decision right now” or “Take all the time you need; this doesn’t even need to get done today.” Simply inviting people to pause and breathe introduces peace to meet the fear. I wonder what it would look like to be a non-anxious presence to ourselves— to be that gentle voice whispering “It’s okay. Pause. Breathe. Take your time.” Fear and anxiety may serve a protective purpose, but if not brought into balance with a little peace, they can be debilitating.
We’re all busy. We’re all stressed.
We’re surrounded by fear and anxiety all the time.
Please be gentle with yourselves.
Look for the moments of peace,
and when it seems like peace can’t be found,
pause, breathe, and invite that non-anxious presence.
Peace won’t just happen.
We’ll need to create it.
With Thanksgiving and Advent right around the corner, this series is going to move to the back-burner for a bit. After the holidays, we’ll return with a look at how these emotions play out specifically in Christian faith settings.