Hey, Tom, can you come to the emergency department? We had a patient swallow a magnet.
Was he trying to feel more attractive?

My Dad Joke game has been pretty solid since my daughter’s birth nine months ago, and it got me thinking about why this stereotype exists. Why do we make Dad Jokes, and is there a practical application for this eye-rolling genre of humor?

Therapist and rabbi Edwin Friedman was one of the most famous proponents of Family Systems Theory (an approach in which a therapist focuses on the larger overlapping systems an individual inhabits rather than just the individual patient themselves). Through Family Systems, Friedman helped his patients and his congregants explore their relationships with their families and communities, how they differentiate themselves from those groups, and how those groups have influenced their other relationships in other unrelated systems.

Friedman also coined a term “the paradox of playfulness,” suggesting that sometimes a serious issue is best handled with humor. Indeed, Friedman’s most famous book, Generation to Generation, includes countless examples of people using humor to navigate difficult issues. Friedman gives a drastic example in which he was counseling a couple where the wife had an affair and stopped coming to their sessions. At Friedman’s prompting, the husband began to tease the wife: “Love, it would be really helpful to me if you could put your meet-ups with the other man in the family calendar. That way, I know what days I need to pick up the kids.” Paradoxically, by downplaying the seriousness of the situation to a humorous extent, these kinds of comments sparked genuine emotional response and healthy conversation for the couple.

The Dad Joke phenomenon carries some similarity.

While we all roll our eyes at the Dad Joke, there’s something endearing about this style of humor. Sure, the jokes are corny, but they convey a deep affection. Their playfulness can cut through tension and create a bond with the listener. The unspoken message underlying the Dad Joke is “I care enough about you to be playful with you,” and this message can build deep connection. So the next time someone tells you a Dad Joke, take a moment to appreciate the paradox of playfulness. After all, sometimes humor can get you father than seriousness.