Back when I was a youth minister, there was a big push for students to craft and deliver “testimonies.” If you’re not familiar with the term, a testimony is a brief retelling of your life with an emphasis on the role God has played in it, usually with conversion to Christianity as a key turning point at the story’s climax. As I heard teen after teen deliver these testimonies (most of which had been crafted with the assistance of their youth ministers), I noticed a pattern emerge:
“Well, I grew up around church, but I didn’t really believe in Jesus. It’s not like I did anything really bad, but something in my life was missing. Then [a bad thing which was not the student’s fault— e.g. parents’ divorce, family member’s death, loss of a friend group, etc.], and I didn’t know who to turn to. Then I went to [name of youth camp or conference] with [youth group], and I accepted Jesus into my heart. Now things are great, and I love my new church, and so can you.”
Around 90% of the testimonies I heard followed this pattern, which is strange since every student I knew had a far richer and more complex story. It seemed, despite the deep questions and complicated relationships in these students’ lives, they had been taught to narrate their faith journeys as neat and tidy tales with a defined beginning, middle, and end. The oversimplified testimonies never involved regret or remorse or left anything unresolved. Real life is never so simple.
Of course, I was complicit in all this. Looking back, I distinctly remember sharing my testimony with churches, and while I didn’t quite adhere to the formula above, my story certainly followed set beats which belied how little I had figured out. There’s an appeal in giving your story a perfectly defined beginning, middle, and end. It’s alluring to think the struggles of the past will stay there and the worst is behind us, but life doesn’t work this way. We do ourselves a disservice in tidying up our journeys or pretending we’ve figured things out. The rumble of life is more complex and more beautiful, and for so many people who get up and give a testimony, the journey has only just begun.
It’s important to share our stories with one another, but we need to acknowledge we’re still in the middle of living them. As such, maybe it’s time to abandon the idea of testimonies. Real life is more complicated, and God is present in those ups and downs.
I’ve heard those same kind of testimonies in the Presbyterian church…when I was using Evangelism Explosion on the streets witnessing to folks with Len Ministries we had to have a 30 second testimony which was similar; “Before I received the gift of Eternal Life I was xxxxx, but now since I received the gift of Eternal Life I am yyyyy.” I agree that that style of testimony is neither convincing nor compelling, it does seem to cheapen our Christian conversion experience.
However, as a Presbyterian we do not place as great an emphasis on conversion experiences/testimony (understanding as being chosen by God before the foundation of the world), instead we will prefer to emphasize the work of God in our lives.
I don’t have so much of a conversion testimony, but I will use mine from when I accepted my Call to Ministry…which we can talk about later if we want.