Every time I see a church sign proudly proclaim “all are welcome,” I wonder about the people in the church.
Have they ever been in a place where they felt unwelcome?
Have they been greeted with suspicion at another church?
Have they felt others’ curious or judgmental stares while trying to worship?
Have they ever been asked to leave?
And, if they haven’t experienced any of these things, can they really tell for sure if “all are welcome” in their own congregation?

I don’t pose these questions merely to pick on churches with “all are welcome” signs.
I pose them because I’ve noticed something as I work alongside people who have felt disenfranchised from church: the most welcoming people tend to be the ones who have experienced rejection themselves. Those who know what it’s like to be pushed out of church are often the most likely to welcome others who have experienced the same pain. The people most effective at loving the lonely and discouraged have usually felt (or still feel) lonely and discouraged themselves. There’s a deeper empathy there because it comes from lived experience.

The best healers are the wounded healers; the most welcoming are the unwelcome.