Humans seem to be moving at a faster and faster pace. Work, school, extracurricular activities, social events, community programs, family time, chores, church, internships— all of us have so much to do. In response, more and more people are finding comfort in contemplation, in slowing down and reflecting as a form of resistance, and among these people, a popular mantra has emerged:

“You’re a human being, not a human doing.”

While the expression has value, I fear it becoming more of a guilt trip than a guideline, a slam against the chronically busy (as though moving at a fast pace somehow compromises our humanity). The expression makes a great instrument for self-flagellation, and while it’s not necessarily a trigger phrase for me, I’ve beaten myself with it many a time. In fact, this happened in a recent conversation with my spiritual director, and her response changed how I see this expression.

Because I balance bar chaplaincy, hospital responsibilities, church partnerships, teaching, and preparation for married life, it’s been necessary to sit down from time to time with a spiritual director (someone trained in the art of helping me reflect on my journey thus far and plan next steps). When my spiritual director and I were discussing how I spend my downtime (or lack thereof) a few months back, I began berating myself for not spending enough time in raw contemplation: “I know, I know, I’m supposed to be a human being, not a human doing.” Rather than agree with me, she looked at me quizzically and said five earth-shattering words:

Why can’t you be both?

It turns out “being” and “doing” aren’t as mutually exclusive as the expression implies, and when we focus on either at the expense of the other, we create an incomplete human experience.
The goal shouldn’t be to replace doing with being
(as I fear the expression sometimes implies);
our goal should be a healthy synthesis of the two.
Our doing should never overshadow our being,
and our being should never prevent us from doing.
Our being should inform our doing
(with our senses of self guiding how we spend our time).
And our doing should enable our being
(with how we spend our time affirming our senses of self).
And if our doing and our being are out of synch,
then it’s time to work on both.

So by all means, let’s work on our being,
but if we do so at the expense of our doing,
we will inevitably fail.

You are a human being.
You are also a human doing.
As you do, make sure to be.
As you be, make sure to do.
And together maybe we’ll get a little better at both.