This past weekend, Jessi and I tended the bar at a friend’s wedding. For the beer menu, they decided to showcase Intuition Aleworks, so we had I-10 IPA, Jon Boat Coastal Ale, and King Street Stout available to the 150 guests. Knowing that not everyone favors craft beer, we also had bottles of Bud Light and Yuengling available. (Remember, fellow beer snobs, bartending is first and foremost about hospitality, and sometimes that means serving drinks we personally don’t like!)
Jessi and I picked up and tapped the kegs ourselves, secure in our knowledge of these beers, but there was another wrinkle to the bar service that we weren’t as ready for: wine. I’m fairly ignorant about wine, which is why I don’t talk about it much on this blog. To me, wine is just brandy that isn’t finished yet. Still, I’ve learned enough to improvise over the years, and I’ve prepared this handy flowchart of my process. May it serve you well!
In all seriousness, there are a few wine basics that anyone can pick up quickly:
Swirl It
To release more of the aroma, hold the glass by the stem and use a gentle back-and-forth motion of the wrist (like stirring a Manhattan). As you swirl, watch the way the wine collects and drips back down along the inside of the glass. These little trickles are called “legs,” and while they indicate alcohol content, there’s some controversy on how best to interpret them. Basically, if the legs are well-defined, say so, but avoid the topic otherwise.
Smell It
With liquor, we always waft the smell over to our nostrils to avoid getting a nose full of ethanol. Wine’s a different beast though, so stick your nose straight into that glass! A standard wine pour is 4 ounces, and wine glasses are designed to funnel that aroma straight up your schnoz. Placing your nose just within the rim of the glass, take in the wine’s smell and describe it with whatever words come to mind (no matter how bizarre those words may seem). Trust your palate!
Taste It
It’s a golden rule of cocktails that taste and smell are closely related, and wine is no different. That initial smell is going to affect the overall taste, so lean into that. Once the first sip passes through your lips, allow the wine to splash over the sides of your tongue, and then slosh it around your full palate. (Obnoxious mouth noises are not required, but they are highly recommended in the presence of old friends.) Again, go with whatever words come to mind, but here are a few general contrasts to think of:
– dry or sweet
– light, medium, or full-bodied
– sharp or smooth
– earthy, oaky, fruity, or floral
Talk About It
Probably more than any other beverage, wine is meant to be discussed. People hold parties, take vacations, and join clubs to talk about this stuff, so embrace the social side of it. Ask people what they think of the wine, and describe it in your own words. If you really want to impress, you can download the Vivino wine scanner app and do instant research on new bottles.
Stay Realistic
I’m going to assume that any serious wine drinkers stopped reading after that brandy joke in the second paragraph, so this advice is for us novices. Keep in mind that the wine industry thrives on the power of suggestion, so don’t assume that the most expensive bottle is the best for your tastebuds. Remember that a bottle’s label or a bartender’s recommendation can easily influence your opinion of the wine. For example, at this weekend’s wedding, our Malbec had the lowest Vivino score of the three. Care to guess which wine was the most popular? I say all this to remind you that taste is very subjective, so stay open as you try new wines. You might find —like I did— that a $9.99 cabernet suits you just as well as a $50 pinot. As with any alcohol, enjoy wine responsibly with good company, find wines that suit your personal taste, and keep your sense of humor about you!
Cheers.
If you’re planning an event with beer service and need help designing the menu, we’re happy to consult. Head on up to that “connect” tab, and we can talk more.