What Is the Enneagram?
If you’ve frequented progressive Christian circles, you’ve probably been asked the unusual and slightly invasive question, “So what’s your enneagram number?” An ancient personality typing system that gained popularity in America in the latter half of the 20th Century, the enneagram involves nine core motivations which drive us, resulting in nine types:

1- the Reformer
2- the Helper
3- the Achiever
4- the Individualist
5- the Investigator
6- the Loyalist
7- the Enthusiast
8- the Challenger
9- the Peacemaker

Each of these motivations carries with it certain “superpowers” (3s are adaptive, 4s are creative, etc.) and certain drawbacks (6s struggle with overcoming fear, 9s struggle to be assertive, etc.), and these strengths and drawbacks are usually two sides of the same coin. Enneagram numbers can even tell us a lot about our stress responses and interaction styles. Of course, while the enneagram is a great tool for personal growth and exploration, it’s not very scientific, and it’s possibly a little overhyped. With that overhype comes misunderstanding, and with misunderstanding comes frustration, or, at least, that’s been my experience.

When I first encountered the enneagram, I found it very restrictive and reductionistic and, frankly, kind of annoying. The message of the enneagram seemed to be: This is your number, and it determines everything. When I pushed back on this, the group where I first learned about the enneagram responded with, “Oh, that’s such a 3 thing to say! Hahahahaha, you’re such a 3, Tom!” And thus, I hated the enneagram for a while. It was a few more years before I started to appreciate and enjoy it (largely thanks to a friend at the Wild Goose Festival explaining it to me in a new way), and I had to relearn a lot of the system. If you too have found the enneagram —or its fans— aggravating in the past, I’d encourage you to take a second look with some of these guidelines in mind. This will be a longer post than usual, so I’ll divvy it up into bolded sections. Italics will represent my personal experiences with the enneagram. So, for starters…

How Do I Describe My Number?
The most common descriptions of enneagram numbers involve the core number and an adjacent number called a “wing.” For example, someone might be a 1 as their primary motivator but also have many characteristics of a 9, so they would describe themselves as a “1 wing 9” (abbreviated “1w9”). The wing must be an adjacent number on the circle, so there’s no such thing as a 5w9, only a 5w4 or 5w6. Additionally, the nine types fall into three subgroups called “triads” which reveal a center of your awareness or interaction style. 2, 3, and 4 make up the heart triad or feeling triad; 5, 6, and 7 are the mind or thinking triad; and 8, 9, and 1 are the gut/body or instinctive triad. From here, there are subgroups of each type, and here’s a video explanation which goes into a little more detail.

I’m a 3w2. As an Achiever, it’s important to me to excel in whatever I’m pursuing. My main drive is success; failure is my kryptonite; and I have an ability to adapt quickly to many situations (though often ignoring my own needs and feelings in the process). As a 3, if something is important to me, I will dive full-force into it. My 2 wing is all about helping others, and I live out this drive in caring professions (bar ministry, hospital chaplaincy, care for friends and family, etc.). Of course, a drive for success and a caring wing are a great recipe for burnout, so I have to watch myself pretty carefully on that front, especially since 3s are notorious for overlooking our own needs and feelings while working to achieve our goals. I’ll continue to use my own number as an example as I untangle more about the enneagram below.

Do Not Take a Test Or Assign Someone Else a Number
There are plenty of online tests you can take to determine your number, but almost all of these are dangerously oversimplified and frequently result in mis-typing. The best way to discover your enneagram number is to read a short description of each type and see which one resonates with you the most. Now, a caveat here: by “resonate,” I don’t necessarily mean resonate in a good way. When reading a description of your number, you may find yourself squirming a bit as the description might hit a little close to home. “Ugh, I do that thing, but I don’t really like that about myself.” This is okay. A little discomfort when first exploring the enneagram is totally normal because, as we’ll address later, the enneagram isn’t static. We’re meant to grow as we work through it. Also, because our motivations are so personal, it’s dangerous to “type” someone else. Assigning someone an enneagram number requires a lot of assumptions about very private things, so while it may be fun to theorize whether Janice from accounting might be a 6w7 or if Alexander Hamilton was a 3w4, there’s no point in doing this. Only those people can determine their numbers. (I give a pass for fictional characters though since their motivations are determined by the authors writing them.)

Back in 2016, I made the terrible mistake of listening to a podcast by The Liturgists which went over each of the enneagram numbers, and this was my introduction to the nine types. The hosts dealt with only the most stereotypical versions of the numbers, and their take on 3s was… harsh. “Ugh, 3s are the worst. So competitive. So two-faced. I mean, sure, they’re the life of the party, but they’re so cutthroat.” When I took a test a few days later, I found myself thinking, “Not 3. Not 3. Not 3.” much in the way Harry Potter told the Sorting Hat, “Not Slytherin. Not Slytherin. Not Slytherin.” Of course I felt a rush of shame when I saw the result pop up on the screen: 3w2. I distanced myself from the enneagram for a while. Had I discovered my number independently or been able to study and choose it for myself, I’m sure I would have still resisted the 3 identity, but there might not have been so much shame tied to it. So yeah, don’t take tests or let someone else tell you your number. If you are curious about the enneagram, read up on each type and select your own. A book like The Essential Enneagram or The Road Back to You may be helpful here.

There Are Many Shades of Each Number
One of the only redeeming factors of The Liturgists podcast about the enneagram —which I’m not even linking here because it’s not worth your time— was a comparison they made: an enneagram number is like a color in that every color has infinite shades. “Blue” could be thousands of different wavelengths from navy to aqua to periwinkle, but we still recognize all of them under the umbrella of “blue.” Similarly, there are many shades of every enneagram number. Two people with the same number may also have completely different personalities— different introversion/extraversion, different responses to stress, different interests, different neuroses, different levels of persuadability. Because the enneagram focuses on motivation, there is a lot of variety within each number.

In my department at work, there are at least three other 3s that I know of, and all of us have very different quirks. One of us has used the 3 adaptability to enter fundraising circles and win over donors for nonprofits— a skillset I definitely don’t have. Another fellow 3 and I have noted we have seemingly opposite stress responses, with her going into a sort of hibernation and me going into an overactive people-pleasing mode (though, in reality, both of these responses are typical of unhealthy 9s, and more on why that’s important in the next paragraph). Just because two people share a number doesn’t mean they’re the same person, and just because someone tells you their number, it doesn’t mean you’ll be able to predict how they’ll respond to every situation. Although there are a few patterns…

You Are Not One Number; You Are Five Numbers
In addition to your base number, there are four other important numbers. We’ve already talked a little about the “wing,” but here’s a fun twist: your wing may shift over time, and some people even have an even balance between two wings (for example, a 9 with a healthy mix of both reformer and challenger). Additionally, you know all those lines on the enneagram diagram? Those are called stress and security arrows, and they’re super important. In times of stress, every number moves toward characteristics of another, and in times of security we move toward yet another different number. For example, a 5 under stress looks a little like a 7, while a confident and comfortable 2 has some characteristics of a 4. This part of the enneagram is all about self-awareness because people who don’t really get to know their habits can start to look like unhealthy versions of their stress arrow. For example, a stressed out 4 (individualist) may look like an unhealthy 2 (helper), and as such, they may become an absolute doormat or busybody; however, a 4 who knows themselves well can work on this and grow into a more well-rounded person. So yeah, it’s not just one number you focus on with the enneagram; you have four other options!

This was really the moment that helped me appreciate and enjoy the enneagram. As a 3, I can lean into either of my wings (2 or 4). I may switch back and forth between being more of a self-sacrificing helper (2) or being more individualistic and artistic (4), and I can even look back across my life and see where I erred more on one side or the other. I have a stress response (9) in which I become something of a people-pleaser and don’t like making decisions. And I have a security response (6), where I can be a powerful advocate for others and myself when I’m feeling confident. Though 3 will remain my jumping-off point, I am not locked into this one number. Instead, I’m constantly moving around between five of them, and how I move between these numbers reflects my growth in self-awareness. There is so much freedom in this. Yes, I’m a 3, but I can also tap into 2ness, 4ness, 6ness, and 9ness when necessary. In other words, that “Oh, such a 3” nonsense from earlier? Yeah, that was a load of crap. We all contain multitudes of numbers, and in this same vein…

The Enneagram Is About Growth
Alright, this is the big one. The best thing about the enneagram is that, unlike other fairly static personality typing systems like Myers-Briggs or DISC or the four humors, the enneagram is specifically geared toward self-awareness and growth. This system identifies your core motivation at baseline, invites you to explore additional gifts, points toward areas where you truly excel, and holds up a challenging mirror to your stress responses. Because all of us are constantly moving around between our five numbers, we are always free to change and grow, and I’ve even met some people who either selected a number and chose to grow toward it or simply discovered that a different number now reflected their personality better. The good news of the enneagram is that you’re never stuck in one number. We’re all of us free to explore and grow.

Big decisions paralyze me, and the enneagram has helped me get a better handle on this. I learned that, as a 3, I tend toward 9 (peacemaker) in times of stress, so to balance for this, I stay aware when my anxiety is up and I start to enter people-pleasing mode. By contrast, I’m often at my best (and my most 6ish) when I’m advocating for others, which is the security arrow from 3 to 6! In my work I’ve been able to lean into both of these areas to become a more effective caregiver. Studying the enneagram has even helped me better understand a few of my loved ones who have shared their numbers with me, particularly where stress reactions are concerned. If my 8 friend withdraws during times of stress while my 2 friend gets angry and confrontational, awareness of their enneagram types helps me remember these reactions may not be about me or my responses to them. The enneagram can be a tool for understanding and empathy.

What If It Just Doesn’t Work for Me?
Okay, this next part is crucial, so say it out loud as you read it: THE ENNEAGRAM HAS ABSOLUTELY NO SCIENTIFIC BASIS! The enneagram is a sort of folk wisdom that’s been passed down over the centuries, and it’s not based in any neurological or psychological theory whatsoever. As such, we should probably take the enneagram with a grain of salt and not feel too bound by it. It’s still a pretty effective tool for self-growth when taught and understood in an open and affirming way, but it’s certainly not the be-all and end-all of human psychology, and it’s not a determinative or prescriptive system. I’ve been able to learn a lot about myself through the enneagram, but I know that not everyone has had that experience, and that’s okay. At the end of the day, it’s a tool, and not every tool works for every situation.So, is the enneagram overhyped? Hell yes. Is it still useful? Yeah, for the most part, but you have to get below the “what’s your number tehe” surface level bullshit and remember that it’s a system designed for personal growth, not prediction. Like any personality typing system, it has its advantages and its shortcomings, and if you have an eye toward personal growth, it can be pretty handy.