Purity rings, abstinence pledges, courting— Evangelical Christianity has a particular and peculiar stance on human sexuality. If you’re like me, you grew up surrounded by this “Purity Culture,” which relies on poorly sourced data, psychologically harmful misinformation, and carefully prooftexted bible verses. The effects of Purity Culture have been almost universally negative, and I wonder what it would look like for Christians to talk about sex more healthily. In each post in this series, I’ll give a misconception I heard growing up and offer a healthier counterpoint.
This week’s Purity Culture misconception:
“Condoms are not 100% effective, so don’t use them! Just wait until you’re married instead. Now let’s talk about the most horrifying STD symptoms you might experience if you have any sort of premarital sex, protected or not…”
The Evangelical “science” regarding condoms and STD/STIs is misleading at best and flat-out wrong at worst. In fact, the manipulation of statistics here is truly facepalm-worthy: “not 100% effective” doesn’t mean they’re ineffective, but the number was framed this way the first time I heard it. Technically, 99.999% is still “not 100%,” and this statistic also does nothing to establish which STIs condoms effectively prevent (such as HIV, chlamydia, and others spread through bodily fluids) as opposed to those where condoms are less effective (like HPV and herpes, which are spread through skin-to-skin contact). Additionally, while STD symptoms were described in excruciating detail by our True Love Waits curriculum, no efforts were made to discuss preventative measures like the HPV vaccine (which was new and making headlines at the time I was going through abstinence-only sex ed). Instructors wanted us to believe abstinence was the only way to maintain physical health— a baseless fear tactic which left lingering fears about condoms and STDs. Statistically, these fear tactics didn’t even work; most students who went through a True Love Waits curriculum still had premarital sex, but they were less likely to use protection.
Maybe instead, we should say…
Look, there are some nasty STIs out there, and pregnancy is a risk you run if you have unprotected sex with someone of the opposite sex. The good news is there are preventative measures you can take (like birth control, condoms, and vaccines), so it’s good to be aware of this stuff and take your sexual health seriously.
When I got to college, I experienced something I had never seen before: a health clinic which openly acknowledged people were having sex and didn’t attempt to shame them. STI screenings were free, and the clinic had a large bowl of condoms close by the door. The frequency of hook-ups on college campuses makes the spread of STIs a real issue, so my college was proactive and thinking of the health of their students. They acknowledged something my church couldn’t: teens and 20-somethings are going to experiment. It’s inevitable. They’re still discovering their sexuality. So let’s keep them safe as they do so. Young people are going to have sex. Raging hormones and the inherent curiosity of adolescence and young adulthood make sexual discovery a natural part of growing up. If young people choose to be abstinent until marriage, awesome, but for those who don’t (which statistically is a significant majority), let’s give them the tools to stay safe.