I grew up in Memphis, TN, and because of this upbringing, I like my BBQ a certain way: pulled pork shoulder or pork ribs coated in dry rub, completely inundated with smoke, and splashed with a tangy (preferably spicy) tomato-based sauce with optional cole slaw. To me, this is proper BBQ. For almost two decades, it was the only BBQ I ever knew, so to this day, when I say “BBQ,” this is what I mean.

On the other hand, if I’m describing an outdoor gathering where people cook hamburgers and hotdogs on a grill, I do not say, “We’re having a BBQ.” I say, “We’re having a cookout,” because hotdogs and hamburgers are not what comes to mind for me personally when I hear the term “BBQ.” Getting pickier still, if I’m describing brisket (which is another form of BBQ), I do not instinctively call it “BBQ.” I call it “brisket” because it’s a different kind of BBQ than what I grew up eating. The word BBQ always signals one thing to me because of where I grew up, but I know this isn’t the same for everyone.

For my friends who grew up in North Carolina, “BBQ” means fine-chopped pork shoulder doused with a vinegar-heavy sauce and usually a little red pepper flake.

For my friends from Kansas, “BBQ” involves a plate with a variety of meats (including sausage, burnt ends, and other cuts of pork or beef) in a sweeter tomato-based sauce.

For my friends from Texas, “BBQ” usually means beef brisket smoked to the point of falling apart and coated with a tomato-based sauce more in line with the Memphis style.

And all of these people would not refer to my BBQ as “BBQ.”
They would add a modifier like “Memphis BBQ,”
just as I would call theirs “Kansas BBQ” or “Texas BBQ” or “that weird Carolina BBQ.”

And if you get a Kansan, a Texan, a North Carolinian, and a Memphian in one room and say to them, “I brought BBQ,” because of their different upbringings and cultures, all of them will assume you mean something different. And while no one of them has the sole claim to BBQ, all of them will argue theirs is the true BBQ, the real standard, the proper orthodox form of BBQ.

So it goes when you assemble a group of Christians with different backgrounds, different cultures of origin, different life experiences, and different denominations, and say to them, “Let’s talk about God.”
Each of them has assumptions about God rooted in their experience.
Each one is using a personal frame of reference to make sense of the others’ views.
Some may insist on using modifiers like “liberation theology” or “feminist theology” to describe the others.
And yes, some theologies are going to be more palatable than others, but we have to acknowledge the backgrounds which have shaped our preferences.

Whether it’s BBQ or Bible,
none of us grow up in a vacuum,
so make sure to start from a place of listening
because what you consider “orthodox theology”
may look like chopped pork and vinegar to someone else.