I just finished Mark Manson‘s The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, and despite its playful title, I found it a surprisingly thought-provoking read. It’s not a very heavy or dense book, but the author’s conversational tone and profound observations make it well worth reading. Contrary to the title, the book doesn’t actually advocate not caring; rather, it calls on readers to stop caring about the wrong things. Through clever phrasing and some deeply poignant examples, Manson encourages readers to study our priorities, the values underlying those priorities, and the senses of entitlement so many of us aren’t even aware we carry. Manson puts forth the theory that discontent with this life is the result of poorly-selected (or outright unattainable) values, and as an example, he offers the stories of two musicians:

Some years ago, a guitarist was unceremoniously kicked out of his band in the middle of a tour. Furious at his now-former bandmates, he started a new band with the chief goal of surpassing his old crew. He wanted to outsell them, outperform them, and gain more notoriety than them. Sure enough, his new band picked up steam and became one of the most famous metal bands of all time: Megadeth. Unfortunately, guitarist Dave Mustaine still considers himself a failure. You see, despite their incredible popularity, Megadeth has never outsold Mustaine’s old band: Metallica.

By contrast, Pete played drums for a band in Liverpool back in the early 1960s. After an extended tour in Hamburg, the band was on their way to megastardom, but as they prepared for their next international tour, the band’s manager pulled Pete aside. The others didn’t want him around anymore; he was out of the band. While disappointed, Pete adjusted his priorities, decided not to dwell on his bandmates’ actions, and started over. Pete played with a few other bands, but he ultimately found his greatest fulfillment in family life and civil service. As it turned out, being kicked out of The Beatles suited him just fine. Unlike his former bandmates, Pete Best never developed a drug problem, is still on his first marriage after 50 years, and remains quite content with his life. This is what Manson means by “not giving a f*ck”– it’s about letting go and focusing on things you can actually do something about rather than playing the victim.

If happiness is measured through numbers and comparisons, we’ll never attain it, but how many of us fall into this trap on a regular basis? The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck calls on readers to re-examine what motivates us. What are the values underneath our actions? How do those values manifest in the things that annoy us? How would a good honest appraisal of our priorities help us to live more fully? Manson argues there is no such thing as a problem-free life; we can only do our best to select problems we can manage, stay humble, and be okay with things not working out the way we plan.

While The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck isn’t so much a self-help book as a get-over-yourself book, it does just us much building up as knocking down. It’s ultimately a 200-something page meditation on mindfulness with a lot of drinking and swearing thrown in for good measure, so if you feel like you could benefit from a little self-analysis and reevaluation (and, really, we all could), definitely pick it up. It’s a good read.

(Also, the beer in the main image is an Aardwolf Early Bird Special breakfast stout, and I recommend that too.)